A year ago, I "retired" from teaching high school math to join Jarrod in his ministry. I can't believe it's already been a year and am amazed how much our lives have changed since then. Quitting my job and losing my nice salary and benefits were not easy things. It was scary and not something I would normally do. The old me would NEVER quit a secure job without having another job lined up - logically, it just doesn't make any sense at all. The old me valued a post secondary education, having a salaried job, and doing the logical things in life. It just made sense.
About 3 years ago, I began to grow very tired of driving 45 minutes to work everyday but REALLY liked the school I was teaching at. So you say, "what's the problem? Just move. Duh!" Well the problem was that we received words from our Father that Jarrod's ministry would be in our hometown and that we were to plant roots there...so you probably can see my dilemma. I began to ask God to push me out of my comfortable, safe school and into something else, if that's what He wanted. Looking back I realize what a silly thing I was asking...make it easy for me to leave? I was about to enter a very hard two years of teaching. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I asked that but He gave it to me. I also realize that I never really ask Him to do something for me...I always end it with something like "if it's what you want." This was the beginning of something so much bigger in my life - this desire to only do what He wants.
Over the next two years, I continued to pray for direction and in answer to my prayer, public education entered a very hard time financially - raises were not handed out, insurance went up, lunch allowances were taken away, more students were enrolled and no more teachers were getting hired. At the time, money was very important to me and I became really upset with this. Along with all of this, gas prices were sky rocketing, my old methods of discipline were no longer working, my classes were getting bigger and bigger. I could go on but all the bad things happening are not the point and are of NO reflection at all on the school. I taught at an amazing school with amazing people and was treated very well...I began to question why I was so unhappy and if I'm at this great school and am unhappy, how am I going to be happy at any other school (I was at the best 2A school in the state - how do you go up from there???). Then it dawned on me...I had asked God to make it easy for me to leave - no I don't think He changed the fates of all the teachers and school boards to push me out, He was changing the way I was looking at circumstances and re-wiring my brain for the next season in life. My husband and I then changed the directions of our prayers from, "where do I teach next?" Or "please help me get a job close to home" to"what next?" Or "now what?" We prayed and prayed and got a whole lot of ambiguous words from Him that were pointing to me quitting my job and joining Jarrod full time. We had already, through the course of our marriage, received multiple words that our marriage is our ministry and that we could only work if we work together. We sought council and more prayer from elders and concluded that I should quit. If I didn't, I would be very unhappy living in my disobedience to Him. No, He wasn't MAKING me quit but we could tell that if I didn't quit, I would not ever be fully happy.
Since then, my whole life has changed. I'm happier than I've ever been and the quality of my life has drastically improved. No, we don't have lots of money and everything we ever wanted but we do have each other, time together, and a growing relationship with our Heavenly Father. Is everyday easy? No. Are we always positive and confident in our walk with Him? No. But I can tell you that on our hardest days, I'm still happier than I was as my old self. My mind has been transformed and I feel more freedom than I ever have. I've given control of my life over to Him and trust Him completely with it. I know whatever happens to us is His doing and that He ALWAYS has our back. My dad is the King of the universe and He can do anything!
About 3 years ago, I began to grow very tired of driving 45 minutes to work everyday but REALLY liked the school I was teaching at. So you say, "what's the problem? Just move. Duh!" Well the problem was that we received words from our Father that Jarrod's ministry would be in our hometown and that we were to plant roots there...so you probably can see my dilemma. I began to ask God to push me out of my comfortable, safe school and into something else, if that's what He wanted. Looking back I realize what a silly thing I was asking...make it easy for me to leave? I was about to enter a very hard two years of teaching. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I asked that but He gave it to me. I also realize that I never really ask Him to do something for me...I always end it with something like "if it's what you want." This was the beginning of something so much bigger in my life - this desire to only do what He wants.
Over the next two years, I continued to pray for direction and in answer to my prayer, public education entered a very hard time financially - raises were not handed out, insurance went up, lunch allowances were taken away, more students were enrolled and no more teachers were getting hired. At the time, money was very important to me and I became really upset with this. Along with all of this, gas prices were sky rocketing, my old methods of discipline were no longer working, my classes were getting bigger and bigger. I could go on but all the bad things happening are not the point and are of NO reflection at all on the school. I taught at an amazing school with amazing people and was treated very well...I began to question why I was so unhappy and if I'm at this great school and am unhappy, how am I going to be happy at any other school (I was at the best 2A school in the state - how do you go up from there???). Then it dawned on me...I had asked God to make it easy for me to leave - no I don't think He changed the fates of all the teachers and school boards to push me out, He was changing the way I was looking at circumstances and re-wiring my brain for the next season in life. My husband and I then changed the directions of our prayers from, "where do I teach next?" Or "please help me get a job close to home" to"what next?" Or "now what?" We prayed and prayed and got a whole lot of ambiguous words from Him that were pointing to me quitting my job and joining Jarrod full time. We had already, through the course of our marriage, received multiple words that our marriage is our ministry and that we could only work if we work together. We sought council and more prayer from elders and concluded that I should quit. If I didn't, I would be very unhappy living in my disobedience to Him. No, He wasn't MAKING me quit but we could tell that if I didn't quit, I would not ever be fully happy.
Since then, my whole life has changed. I'm happier than I've ever been and the quality of my life has drastically improved. No, we don't have lots of money and everything we ever wanted but we do have each other, time together, and a growing relationship with our Heavenly Father. Is everyday easy? No. Are we always positive and confident in our walk with Him? No. But I can tell you that on our hardest days, I'm still happier than I was as my old self. My mind has been transformed and I feel more freedom than I ever have. I've given control of my life over to Him and trust Him completely with it. I know whatever happens to us is His doing and that He ALWAYS has our back. My dad is the King of the universe and He can do anything!
Comments
Post a Comment