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"Oops!"

This post is actually inspired by and part of it has been stolen from my sister Jennifer.

I am the last of 4 children in my family. I am 10 years younger than the oldest and almost 5 years younger than the 3rd child, Jennifer. My siblings and I always joke about how I was the "accident", the "hiccup", the "mistake" of the family but they only get away with not hurting my feelings because I know this is not true. Well, being an "accident" is technically true but I know I am not viewed as an "accident"; I'm viewed as a precious gift. A pleasant surprise.

At my dad's birthday party this year, my family was reminiscing on good times at a summer camp. My parents were trying to remember how many kids they had at the time and came to the conclusion they only had 3. Somehow we got around to joking about me being the afterthought that wasn't alive or thought about yet. For a tiny split second the joking stings but then I remember how special I am to my parents and siblings and I smash any feelings of unimportance because I KNOW is not from God.

My sweet, sensitive sister, Jennifer sent this text message to me later that night. I'm going to paraphrase a few parts for privacy reasons but here it is.
I didn't get to say it at Nana's (our mom), but you know how you were the "accident"? Well, I've had some revelations about that lately. I know you know you're a prize and wanted, but I just got hit on another level and today when it was brought up I thought of you. 
There are the babies we plan and then there are the ones God knows we need.
My friend had an "accident" and she talks about her love for her 2nd child in a way that seems greater. But then she goes on to explain that it seems like she loves him in a greater way because he was the one she never thought she needed. Just like you! 
We were all planned and "wanted", but you were chosen by God for us. Yes, we all were but its just different when its an unexpected gift you receive from Him. 
For example, I thought I did NOT want a girl. I knew I'd love her and it would be totally normal, but its not what I thought I wanted. She is exactly what I NEEDED...what this family needed. God chose her as a gift for us.
It has always been in His plans and they are perfect. When that realization hits you, its like BAM! You know that its a God feeling which intensifies your love because He's SO in it. It is not bigger than your love for your other children, its more like "wow! Thanks God, you really knew what you were doing."

I came at a time that was perfect for my parents. Me being conceived helped reconcile their marriage to each other and reminded them of their everlasting love. There was a reason I came at the time I did and God knew exactly what He was doing. I was NEVER an accident. I had been planned all along...He just didn't tell my parents ;)

I know God sent me here for a purpose and my sister's text message was an awesome reminder of one reason why I'm here. Just wait until you hear the story of how I died...twice.

Comments

  1. I love how your sister captures and shares the truth about why we are who we are. You are a precious jewel Jessie!!! I would have never known that you were an "accident". I was an accident but again your sister made me see why God chose me to be on this earth. I too prayed for a girl (not a boy) with both Jett and Jaxon and well my love for Jaxon is unreal. Not many people get him but he is exactly what I needed and is exactly what I prayed for (i just didn't realize it) and Jett, well he makes my heart burst. You are such a beautiful person inside and out!!!

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