In the movie, Just Friends, one of the characters writes a song about forgiveness and its kind of silly but there’s a little truth to it. Jarrod and I always sing it when forgiveness is needed and it makes us laugh every time. I even have my 5 year old nephew singing it, which is hilarious. It goes something like this, “Forgiveness. It’s more than saying sorry. I’m sorry. To forgive is Devine so lets have a glass of wine....” And it goes into somewhat inappropriate material for a Christian blog.
Often times when we say, “I forgive you”, we don’t really mean it. Its hard to forgive someone when our feelings are still hurt. Even if you don’t really mean it, the first step to forgiveness is saying it. Whether its to that person directly or to yourself, saying it out loud is the hardest.
When I'm with my mom and I need to forgive, she prompts me by saying, “Father I forgive...” and she makes me finish it. I hate it when she makes me do this and I’m usually not ready to finish the statement but I know I have to in order to be spiritually healthy (so therefore grateful for her making me do this - Thanks Mom!). Sometimes when I’m not ready she will give me a little time but I know that I can’t stay mad forever and I have to give my hurt over to God. For me, its never really been a matter of telling that person I forgive them - most of the time, that person doesn’t even know she/he hurt me - its more of a matter of the heart and something I ask my Father to help me deal with.
Living with unforgiveness in your heart is debilitating. It eats you alive and eventually you loathe anyone remotely like the person you can’t forgive. You may think you are hurting that person by not forgiving them (which you might be), but in reality, you’re hurting yourself more. Let go of your hatred for him/her and LOVE! Don’t let someone take over your life - give it to God and ask to see this person the way he does.
Maybe its not someone else you are having trouble forgiving...maybe you have trouble forgiving yourself. You did something that you think is detestable - something you think God would never forgive you for. That line of thought is a lie from the devil and God has ALREADY forgiven you for what you did - its time to forgive yourself. God loves you dearly and longs for you to feel that love. You’re his child and he wants you to know how wonderful you are. Yeah, maybe you messed up - don’t beat yourself up about it for the rest of your life. Ask God to help you feel his love and forgiveness, and live your life the way he wants you to!
A couple weeks ago, someone I really love lied to me (no, not my husband). It really hurt me that this person couldn’t be honest with me and it hurt that I was excluded from his/her life. I got really mad, threw a fit, and caused a scene in front of my family (embarrassing). After my temper tantrum and some quiet time with God, He revealed to me that it wasn’t the hidden information that hurt me, it was the fact that I felt excluded and unloved - whether perceived or real, those were my feelings. Because of God revealing the nature of my feelings, I was able to forgive this person immediately; the fruit of my forgiveness came in the form of peace and the feeling that my wounds had been healed.
That’s how our Father works - He can fix things in a flash and everyone goes away happy. All we have to do is ask for His help and guidance in WHO He wants us to forgive and WHAT He wants us to forgive them for.
I’ll step into my mom’s shoes for a second and prompt you...
Father I forgive [insert name here]. I ask that you reveal to my mind what I need to forgive [name] for. (**the reason you need to forgive may not be what you expect**)
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Often times when we say, “I forgive you”, we don’t really mean it. Its hard to forgive someone when our feelings are still hurt. Even if you don’t really mean it, the first step to forgiveness is saying it. Whether its to that person directly or to yourself, saying it out loud is the hardest.
When I'm with my mom and I need to forgive, she prompts me by saying, “Father I forgive...” and she makes me finish it. I hate it when she makes me do this and I’m usually not ready to finish the statement but I know I have to in order to be spiritually healthy (so therefore grateful for her making me do this - Thanks Mom!). Sometimes when I’m not ready she will give me a little time but I know that I can’t stay mad forever and I have to give my hurt over to God. For me, its never really been a matter of telling that person I forgive them - most of the time, that person doesn’t even know she/he hurt me - its more of a matter of the heart and something I ask my Father to help me deal with.
Living with unforgiveness in your heart is debilitating. It eats you alive and eventually you loathe anyone remotely like the person you can’t forgive. You may think you are hurting that person by not forgiving them (which you might be), but in reality, you’re hurting yourself more. Let go of your hatred for him/her and LOVE! Don’t let someone take over your life - give it to God and ask to see this person the way he does.
Maybe its not someone else you are having trouble forgiving...maybe you have trouble forgiving yourself. You did something that you think is detestable - something you think God would never forgive you for. That line of thought is a lie from the devil and God has ALREADY forgiven you for what you did - its time to forgive yourself. God loves you dearly and longs for you to feel that love. You’re his child and he wants you to know how wonderful you are. Yeah, maybe you messed up - don’t beat yourself up about it for the rest of your life. Ask God to help you feel his love and forgiveness, and live your life the way he wants you to!
A couple weeks ago, someone I really love lied to me (no, not my husband). It really hurt me that this person couldn’t be honest with me and it hurt that I was excluded from his/her life. I got really mad, threw a fit, and caused a scene in front of my family (embarrassing). After my temper tantrum and some quiet time with God, He revealed to me that it wasn’t the hidden information that hurt me, it was the fact that I felt excluded and unloved - whether perceived or real, those were my feelings. Because of God revealing the nature of my feelings, I was able to forgive this person immediately; the fruit of my forgiveness came in the form of peace and the feeling that my wounds had been healed.
That’s how our Father works - He can fix things in a flash and everyone goes away happy. All we have to do is ask for His help and guidance in WHO He wants us to forgive and WHAT He wants us to forgive them for.
I’ll step into my mom’s shoes for a second and prompt you...
Father I forgive [insert name here]. I ask that you reveal to my mind what I need to forgive [name] for. (**the reason you need to forgive may not be what you expect**)
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
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