I come from a small town in the south where it's quite normal to be married and have children by the time you're 25. My parents have been married for 42 years and my grandparents for 66 years. Marriage is something I dreamed and prayed about my entire life, but it seems like more and more I'm the minority in this. I hear people say they don't believe in marriage or that it is an outdated tradition that people don't do anymore. Some in my generation and the generations after me feel like it's somewhat normal to just live together forever - or until they get sick of each other - have a couple kids and call it good. I've heard people say things like, "it's just a piece of paper," or "why would I commit myself to one person forever?" and so on.
Obviously as a married (7 years at the end of this month!) Christian from the south I have a stance on this. Now don't get offended...if you know me, you know I'm accepting of everyone and respect each person's beliefs and opinions. So that means I'm entitled to mine. In this post I want to share my heart and the heart of God about marriage and why it's a good thing. Why that "piece of paper" signifies something bigger than a ball and chain or handcuffs with no key. It signifies a fuller life with more meaning and bigger love. Here are 5 reasons why I think marriage to the right person is a good idea:
1) Other than Jesus dying on the cross to pay for our sins, marriage is the most romantic notion in the history of time. How much more romantic can it get than someone committing his/her life to you. Promising you that he/she will try with everything he/she has to love you forever no matter what...someone saying they want to stick by your side until the day they die? That's the sweetest speech I've ever heard - the one when Jarrod was on one knee with a glittering ring in his hand telling me he didn't want to do life without me. Telling me I was the most important thing in his whole world. It was even sweeter on our wedding day with all of loved ones witnessing our union - his vows to love me forever through sickness, health, wealth, and poverty. That's pretty special I think...and it mirrors how God feels about the church.
2) Which brings me to number 2: marriage mirrors how God feels about the church. If you've never experienced the true devotion a marriage takes, you've never experienced how God feels about his church and the people in it. It's a love so big that you can't wrap your mind around it. Your heart swells with love for your spouse as you live life together. No love is the same and no love compares. (Your child's love is just as big but in a different way - a post for another time).
3) On your wedding day, God joins two people to become one. There's something special that happens when you look into each others eyes and promise to love one another until death. When you come together in agreement under God's holy union, something shifts. There's something that happens in the Heavens when God joins two hearts...something that doesn't happen when you never fully ask for God's blessing over your marriage. It's something that gets skipped when you live together forever and don't commit fully to one another. There's this different level of responsibility and respect that comes when you get married. Not to mention all those dating insecurities that become a leaf in the wind. Yes, I am aware that your spouse could leave at any time. I do know that not all marriages work out and sometimes people split. BUT if you're both willing to stay together and work out all your problems with God at the forefront, marriage is a growing, maturing experience that makes each of you stronger.
4) You spouse is your greatest supporter. When you're married, it's kind of like an investment (a contract of sorts with big stakes)...what your spouse does is important to you because if he/she doesn't succeed then neither do you. Your spouse is your other half so you want his success just as badly as you want your own. Because of the security that comes from marriage, you're able to be fully honest with each other. With that honesty also comes encouragement and growth. Your spouse is the closest person to you - the one that knows you the very best. He/she can point out what's wrong or why something might not be working and help you fix it. OR he/she can tell you how flipping awesome you are! Usually opposites attract so when you're really good at something your spouse isn't, he/she thinks your skills are really cool. Jarrod pushes me in ways no one else ever has. He wants what's best for me and he truly wants me to be happy. Because of this, he will always be my greatest supporter.
5) You have a contract-signed very best friend! It's like a slumber party every single night...it's like spending an extra day every single day at your best friend's house because you can't get enough of them. You share interests and explore them together. If you don't share interests, you can explore each other's interests and learn new things. Be open to your spouses desires and hobbies and try to find a way to be part of them if you can! Life together is better! Not all couples seem to like each other. But obviously at some point in your relationship you found something attractive in one another. Focus on those qualities and try to find some common ground if you don't really get along because well, breaking that contract will be a beast. If you DO really like each other, life is super fun. I may not particularly like moving cows around the pasture but my husband sure does so I can put on my cowboy boots, grab a to-go mug of coffee, and enjoy him enjoying life. When he's happy, I'm happy...plus, I can't afford to break that contract just because I don't like moving cows that much.
There's so many more reasons why I think marriage is good but those are my top 5. Marriage is NOT always easy and you definitely have to work at it but a life together is well worth it. We've found that a marriage based on God has the strongest foundation and can survive anything. I know there are extenuating circumstances where for your safety your marriage has to end but an average marriage can be made spectacular with God at the center. Getting married to my soul mate has been the best experience of my life. People are able to find their happy in lots of different ways but my heart bursts with joy when I think about my husband and our life together. I wrote this because for any of you on the fence about it or any of you with commitment issues, I hope this encourages you to ask for your pastor's blessing and take the leap. You won't fall...you'll fly. And if you're not married because you haven't found your soul mate yet? I'm praying for your dreams to come true and for you to find that one person that completes you.
1) Other than Jesus dying on the cross to pay for our sins, marriage is the most romantic notion in the history of time. How much more romantic can it get than someone committing his/her life to you. Promising you that he/she will try with everything he/she has to love you forever no matter what...someone saying they want to stick by your side until the day they die? That's the sweetest speech I've ever heard - the one when Jarrod was on one knee with a glittering ring in his hand telling me he didn't want to do life without me. Telling me I was the most important thing in his whole world. It was even sweeter on our wedding day with all of loved ones witnessing our union - his vows to love me forever through sickness, health, wealth, and poverty. That's pretty special I think...and it mirrors how God feels about the church.
2) Which brings me to number 2: marriage mirrors how God feels about the church. If you've never experienced the true devotion a marriage takes, you've never experienced how God feels about his church and the people in it. It's a love so big that you can't wrap your mind around it. Your heart swells with love for your spouse as you live life together. No love is the same and no love compares. (Your child's love is just as big but in a different way - a post for another time).
3) On your wedding day, God joins two people to become one. There's something special that happens when you look into each others eyes and promise to love one another until death. When you come together in agreement under God's holy union, something shifts. There's something that happens in the Heavens when God joins two hearts...something that doesn't happen when you never fully ask for God's blessing over your marriage. It's something that gets skipped when you live together forever and don't commit fully to one another. There's this different level of responsibility and respect that comes when you get married. Not to mention all those dating insecurities that become a leaf in the wind. Yes, I am aware that your spouse could leave at any time. I do know that not all marriages work out and sometimes people split. BUT if you're both willing to stay together and work out all your problems with God at the forefront, marriage is a growing, maturing experience that makes each of you stronger.
4) You spouse is your greatest supporter. When you're married, it's kind of like an investment (a contract of sorts with big stakes)...what your spouse does is important to you because if he/she doesn't succeed then neither do you. Your spouse is your other half so you want his success just as badly as you want your own. Because of the security that comes from marriage, you're able to be fully honest with each other. With that honesty also comes encouragement and growth. Your spouse is the closest person to you - the one that knows you the very best. He/she can point out what's wrong or why something might not be working and help you fix it. OR he/she can tell you how flipping awesome you are! Usually opposites attract so when you're really good at something your spouse isn't, he/she thinks your skills are really cool. Jarrod pushes me in ways no one else ever has. He wants what's best for me and he truly wants me to be happy. Because of this, he will always be my greatest supporter.
5) You have a contract-signed very best friend! It's like a slumber party every single night...it's like spending an extra day every single day at your best friend's house because you can't get enough of them. You share interests and explore them together. If you don't share interests, you can explore each other's interests and learn new things. Be open to your spouses desires and hobbies and try to find a way to be part of them if you can! Life together is better! Not all couples seem to like each other. But obviously at some point in your relationship you found something attractive in one another. Focus on those qualities and try to find some common ground if you don't really get along because well, breaking that contract will be a beast. If you DO really like each other, life is super fun. I may not particularly like moving cows around the pasture but my husband sure does so I can put on my cowboy boots, grab a to-go mug of coffee, and enjoy him enjoying life. When he's happy, I'm happy...plus, I can't afford to break that contract just because I don't like moving cows that much.
There's so many more reasons why I think marriage is good but those are my top 5. Marriage is NOT always easy and you definitely have to work at it but a life together is well worth it. We've found that a marriage based on God has the strongest foundation and can survive anything. I know there are extenuating circumstances where for your safety your marriage has to end but an average marriage can be made spectacular with God at the center. Getting married to my soul mate has been the best experience of my life. People are able to find their happy in lots of different ways but my heart bursts with joy when I think about my husband and our life together. I wrote this because for any of you on the fence about it or any of you with commitment issues, I hope this encourages you to ask for your pastor's blessing and take the leap. You won't fall...you'll fly. And if you're not married because you haven't found your soul mate yet? I'm praying for your dreams to come true and for you to find that one person that completes you.
Love this! One thing I have come to love about marriage is there have been times where it would have been easy to call it quits, but instead we chose to honor "the contract" and honor God by sticking it out. As a result we have gone to new levels in relationship with one another as well as in our relationship with God that we may have never seen otherwise! It has been an incredible journey and keeps getting better!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! You're so right.
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