I went into my first year of teaching high school math totally green, inexperienced, and super stoked about my new adventure as an adult at the ripe age of freshly 22. I had a couple classes of 9th grade Algebra students who are still very dear to my heart. On one of their first tests, I did everything I thought I could to prepare them, which included giving them a different version of the actual test for their review. They did the review in class and I helped them with it and I was confident I had prepared them properly for the test. I gave out the test the next day, graded it, and was SHOCKED that 90% of my students failed. I was livid!
I was so mad that they hadn't taken advantage of the help I'd given them - the leg up on being totally prepared for this test and I took it out on them. I yelled at them and told them how disappointed I was. I exclaimed how LUCKY they were to be given the test ahead of time and how silly it was of them to not appreciate it. My outburst was met with silence and heads hung in shame. When they went to their next class, I was left with the feeling that what I did was wrong. How I treated them was horrible...embarrassing...not how a child should be treated. I felt ugly inside. I knew what came out of me was wrong and not who I was...who God made me to be.
I spent that night praying to God to take that ugliness from me. To replace my anger and disappointment with love. I wanted to be able to see his children like he does and to not act out in anger any longer. I wanted to supply a place for those students to feel comfort, peace, safety and love.
When they came back to class, my first order of business was to apologize for the way I had treated them. I wanted to be sure to tell them how wrong it was of me to talk to them that way and that from now on, my classroom would be a safe place for them to try and fail as many time as it took to succeed. I told them I was proud of them for how far they had come since the first day and I consoled them in saying there would be more chances to redeem the bad test grade. I vowed to reteach the material they were stuck on and to not move on until they were ready.
This new information I gave them was from God's heart. The promises I made them were not my own ideas but God's ideas. Through prayer, patience, love and kindness, I tried to create a different atmosphere for them. Some days were harder than others but I could never fully appreciate the victories without the failures. By sharing our victories and failures and by growing and maturing together, we created a bond that I still feel with them. I bawled like a baby at their graduation and watched them walk across that stage with affection. I'm SO proud of who those students have become and I love keeping up with their lives on Facebook.
Isn't that better than the alternative? The alternative would be a memory of pain and frustration and probably a few held grudges. Instead, by acting out of love, we can create lasting, meaningful relationships. We can share good memories and reminisce on how far we've come. We can be each others' greatest supporters. After all, we're in this race together. Let's lean on each other and encourage one another in our walk with God.
I spent that night praying to God to take that ugliness from me. To replace my anger and disappointment with love. I wanted to be able to see his children like he does and to not act out in anger any longer. I wanted to supply a place for those students to feel comfort, peace, safety and love.
When they came back to class, my first order of business was to apologize for the way I had treated them. I wanted to be sure to tell them how wrong it was of me to talk to them that way and that from now on, my classroom would be a safe place for them to try and fail as many time as it took to succeed. I told them I was proud of them for how far they had come since the first day and I consoled them in saying there would be more chances to redeem the bad test grade. I vowed to reteach the material they were stuck on and to not move on until they were ready.
This new information I gave them was from God's heart. The promises I made them were not my own ideas but God's ideas. Through prayer, patience, love and kindness, I tried to create a different atmosphere for them. Some days were harder than others but I could never fully appreciate the victories without the failures. By sharing our victories and failures and by growing and maturing together, we created a bond that I still feel with them. I bawled like a baby at their graduation and watched them walk across that stage with affection. I'm SO proud of who those students have become and I love keeping up with their lives on Facebook.
Isn't that better than the alternative? The alternative would be a memory of pain and frustration and probably a few held grudges. Instead, by acting out of love, we can create lasting, meaningful relationships. We can share good memories and reminisce on how far we've come. We can be each others' greatest supporters. After all, we're in this race together. Let's lean on each other and encourage one another in our walk with God.
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