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Becoming the New You

My friend asked how Jarrod and I keep from getting our feelings hurt all the time. Well, my feelings DO get hurt. They get hurt less often now than in the past but not because of a hardened/calloused heart or walls I’ve built up around my emotions but because of Jesus. Jesus has healed the pain caused by others and replaced the wounds with love, peace and patience.

When someone hurts my feelings, I’ve learned that MOST of the time the offender is dealing with his/her own issues and has taken it out on me as an easy target, OR they’ve taken their issues out on me because I resemble the person they really need to forgive. HOWEVER, when someone has attacked me and I’ve been offended, that means there is something that needs healing inside me.

So how on earth would I know whether I’m an easy target or if something in me needs to be healed? The answer is found in prayer to Jesus. When you feel the familiar pain from hurt feelings, for the sake of your spiritual well-being, go to the special place with Jesus and have a conversation about the offense or offender (or both). Ask Jesus if what the person said was true, what you can learn from the offense, why it hurt your feelings, and what you need to know going forward. It sounds easy but it’s actually an involved process, as with every other relationship, but totally worth the end result.

Here are a few questions answered on how to get to this special place where Jesus reveals truth and how healing takes place:
1.       Is getting in the presence of the Holy Spirit a choice?
a.       ABSOLUTELY! Choosing to go in the Holy Spirit (the special place) is a complete surrender to what Jesus wants for you. Going into the Holy Spirit does not involve sheer determination or force; it requires the exact opposite of sheer determination – it requires surrender and submission.
2.       How do I get into the presence of the Holy Spirit (the special place where you meet Jesus)?
a.       First you must surrender yourself to Him – give him permission to come into your mind and heart. When you’ve given permission, then ask for Him to speak, show, or allow you to feel what he wants for you.
3.       What will I need to access the Holy Spirit?
a.       Other than some paper and a pen to maybe record what He’s said, you actually only need willingness and an open heart.
4.       How do I know if I’ve fallen out of the presence of the Holy Spirit?
a.       When you’ve fallen or walked out of being in the presence of the Holy Spirit, you’ll feel an absence, a loneliness, confused and directionless (Eph 4:17-24). Feelings that can only be remedied by a relationship Jesus; feelings that cannot be fixed with material things, other people, food, games, etc.
5.       How do I find my way back into the presence of the Holy Spirit?
a.       The only way back into the presence of the HS is by prayer and revelation or with the help of your brothers in Christ, all under submission to your authority.
6.       What does it feel like to be in the presence of the HS?
a.       It’s a bright, happy place where you feel led, inspired, rejuvenated and driven to do good for the Kingdom of God.
7.       What are the flags of falling out of the Spirit?
a.       Anger
b.      Confusion
c.       Impatience
d.       Compulsion
e.      Shame
f.        Guilt
g.       Self-loathing
h.      Rage
i.         Self-promotion
8.       What is the fruit of the flesh?
a.       Confusion
b.      Worry
c.       Deception
d.      Envy
e.      Lust
f.        Greed
g.       Despair
h.      Impatience
i.         Intolerance
9.       What is the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)?
a.       Love
b.      Joy
c.       Peace
d.      Patience

e.      Kindness
f.        Forbearance(Tolerance)
g.       Goodness
h.      Faithfulness
i.         Self-control

After you’ve entered the presence of the Holy Spirit, have gotten cleaned up and continue to walk in His presence, you’ll deal with your offenders differently. You won’t deal differently because your offender is different, but because YOU are different. The things that used to be hurtful will no longer affect you the same way because the wounds are healed and you’re a new person through Jesus.


So please, next time you get your feelings hurt, take some time out of your day to pray, get in the Presence, ask Jesus why you were hurt and what He thinks about you, forgive your offender, ask what He wants you to learn from this experience, and walk forward in your new skin. You’ll love the new you!
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