Pros and Cons of a Preacher's Wife Life

I often get asked if I like being a preacher’s wife and what it’s like to be in that role. Depending on who’s asking, I’ll answer with “it’s fun,” or a more detailed description of what it’s really like. I find it difficult to put my finger on exactly what life is like in this role because I grew up in a preacher’s home. Being in a preacher’s family is part of who I am, so I feel like I live in this role naturally. Even though I thought I never wanted to marry a preacher, I can see God’s plans were perfect for me.

Like I said, I grew up in a preacher’s home, so I’m well aware of the politics that go along with the job. I’m used to the spotlight, being watched and being criticized…it’s part of how I grew up and part of my current profession (teaching). I know God prepared me for my role as a preacher’s wife, and I know he protects me from a lot.

Today, I’m sharing the pros and cons of being a preacher’s wife.For every pro there seems to be a con that follows. However, the first pro has no downside:

Easter Sunday

• A man who has been called to the ministry walks upright with integrity. He is led of the Lord and always acts with compassion and understanding. He is the most giving person of his time, resources and emotions. He is a good man who is held accountable to a higher power and answers to that power daily. He is the very essence of love and patience. He reflects who our Father is.

o   I consider myself blessed to be this preacher’s wife. My husband’s heart is made of pure gold and his character matches. I never question his actions or motives because I know they are good. I enjoy being a preacher’s wife because I enjoy my husband. In my role as his wife I am loved, and I seek to be supportive of everything he does.

• My preacher man is not confined to a conventional 8 hour day. He gets to schedule his days and he can cancel if he needs to. We get to have lunch together sometimes, and some days we catch a matinee.

Pi Party

o   HOWEVER, just because he isn’t confined to an 8 hour job doesn’t mean he works less than 8 hours. On any given day he works 8-14 hours. He wakes up early for morning meetings, answers phone calls and texts all day, and stays out until midnight for evening groups or counseling sessions. He works his butt off, and when he comes home he collapses in bed with a kiss and “I love you.”  He gives all he has until he closes his eyes at night.

• When you’ve been called to the ministry, it is all consuming. Our lives are the church and because of that, we share a lot of spiritual experiences. I join him for everything I can, we pray together and we seek after God together. Since we are running together towards God, our marriage is on a foundation stronger than anything worldly. We give love to each other freely because of the love God has poured out on each of us. Our spiritual connection takes us to a higher level in our relationship that keeps us strong as a couple.

o   As stated above, the ministry is all consuming. We live and breathe ministry. There is no vacation from a calling. It’s all he can think about and all he cares about…jump on the train or you’ll get left behind.

§  I even have a hard time seeing this as a con because when you jump on the train, the ride is totally worth it! Being in the ministry with him is exciting and new every day.

•  Our ministry is with people, so we have a tight network of friends we call family. There is always someone there and always someone to talk to. We really do love people, and we can’t help but enjoy being with them. We know how much God loves these people and we see how easy it is to accept them. We want each person to realize how loved and how special they are in God’s eyes and in our eyes. It’s very important to us. Together, we feel led to love and give light to everyone.

o   Since we are with people all the time, we rarely get quality time together. We absolutely love hanging out with all our people, but by the time we get home we’re exhausted and pretty much just go to bed.

§  Like any other busy couple, we have to set up intentional time to just be us. We live out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by peace and tranquility. When we have intentional rest time, we get totally rejuvenated to spend time with people again. We LOVE people.

•  Lastly, we work together towards a greater cause. We have a mission to be reflectors of Christ on Earth. We are here to do his work, hear from him and carry out his plans. We hope to bring a greater understanding of his love to his people. We desire for not only change in our own hearts but for the hearts of his people to change.

o   Opinions. Need I say more? People’s opinions that are contrary to what we know God is saying are a real buzz kill. Judgement. People’s judgement of how we live our lives is sometimes crushing. It’s very hard to do what God is saying and watch the people around you fall away because they disagree. It’s heartbreaking to watch people disappear because of a misunderstanding. As sad as it makes us, we can’t even begin to understand how it makes God feel when they turn their backs on him.

Besties

§  BUT for every person that disapproves, there’s another that loves and supports us. We are so blessed to walk out our mission with the people that remain. We are so blessed to have an insanely strong support system behind us. We are so blessed that our families walk with us. We are so blessed to have found brothers and sisters in Christ. We are so blessed.

Even the cons have pros that go along. For every hard time in the ministry, there are two times as many good times. I wouldn’t trade this for anything, and I’m so grateful God blessed me with this man and this life. We love what we do and we love people. God prepares us, protects us and provides for us. He is good and everything he does is good.